Being A Good Father is the Hardest Thing You’ll Ever Do

We need to become the parents we never had. But how?

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A very happy Father’s Day to those who have stepped up and accepted the role of ‘Father’.

And my deepest gratitude for all the kind words people have offered me about my ability as a father. I cannot tell you how much this means to me, and I am truly humbled.

To me, being a father is more than travel and experiences and finding ways to be present with my children. While those things may indicate I am engaged in their lives, it’s the reason why that ultimately matters.

I want my children to thrive.

In that sense, being a parent is hard. It’s hard because we have no roadmap.

So many of us came from family situations that didn’t serve us. All the people who came from abusive or neglectful upbringings weren’t given the tools to thrive. We suffered because our parents didn’t give us the tools we needed.

If we want our children to thrive — if we want them to never experience the neglect we faced, we need to become the parents we needed.

At some point, our parents may have confessed they did the best they could — that this is all they ever knew. Or… they just didn’t care to do better.

The result is the same either way.

When we become adults ourselves, we have to make a choice. We either have to figure out how to fix what was broken in our lives, or we continue the cycle — becoming exactly like our parents.

If we continue the cycle, our children will experience the same traumas we experienced. They will suffer deep depression. Dysmorphia. Insecurity. Self loathing. Social anxiety. Suicidal thoughts. These things happen to our children because of our choices.

If we want our children to thrive — if we want them to never experience the neglect we faced, we need to become the parents we needed.

That’s the hard part. How do you become the person you need to become when you don’t even know who that person is?