I Kept Getting “Friend Zoned” Until I Learned These 7 Powerful Truths

Contrary to popular belief, it has nothing to do with being “nice”.

Mike Goldberg
6 min readMar 6, 2021


Photo by Alexis Brown on Unsplash

There was a time that I had more female friends than I knew what to do with, but I couldn’t get a date to save my life.

It happened every single time. I’d meet a girl I was attracted to, I’d start talking to her, get to know her, invite her out somewhere, and then somehow we became… friends. As in, no chance to develop a romantic relationship. She just didn’t feel that way about me.

None of them did.

As I’d collect these “friends”, I’d listen to their woes about how they’d get into a relationship with some loser who treated them horribly. They’d cry on my shoulder, wondering why they couldn’t find somebody to treat them right.

It infuriated me.

I had to wonder where I was going wrong. Why did this keep happening to me?

If you are too afraid to communicate your desires, you can’t fault others for not reading your mind, and you can’t get mad when they pick someone else instead of you.

At first, I blamed them. They’d pass up any decent guys and go out of their way to seek out shitheads. It’s hard to feel sympathy when they purposely put themselves in those situations.

But I realized that blaming other people wasn’t going to get me anywhere. For things to get better, I had to take responsibility for my own failings, for not understanding how attraction works, and not creating that spark to take things in the direction I wanted.

After a series of failures, I was determined to get this handled. Over the course of a few months, I figured out where I was going wrong and I managed to turn it all around.

If you find yourself in a situation like this, you can turn it around, too. But in order to do this, you must accept the following truths:

1. Accept everything the way it is

If someone has communicated a lack of romantic interest, accept it immediately.



Mike Goldberg

3x Top Writer | Traveler | Real estate investor | Storyteller | Occasional columnist | I talk about personal growth and seizing opportunities.