When Everything you Want is Not Everything you Need

Why do people push away the ones who would be good for them?

Mike Goldberg


Photo by Author — Matt Scannell

There’s a song by the band Vertical Horizon you might be familiar with called “Everything You Want”.

I always liked that song, but it’s what writer Matt Scannell said in an interview that really hit home for me.

“I was in love with this girl, and she was just a broken person. She kept turning to everyone except me for love and acceptance, and I wanted so much to help her. I wanted to be the one to give her everything she wanted, but I couldn’t. She just couldn’t accept it from me, and it was that pain, that led me to creating the song.”

I think that’s something many of us can relate to. I’ve certainly been there — years before I met my wife. It’s interesting to think about the emotions it generates.

There was a time in my life when I was surrounded by completely broken people, to the point where I had no idea what “stable” was. And here were these people rejecting me, telling me I wasn’t good enough. That hurt — because at the time I didn’t realize it was a problem with THEM. I really thought there was something wrong with me. They would pass me up and inevitably choose a person who was absolutely wrong for them, who would end up breaking their heart. That’s what they’d gravitate to, as if they were hijacked by emotion, to the point where all good judgment and common sense would be suppressed. And of course, after the inevitable outcome, they’d come crying to me about it.

So I felt rejection, sure. But I felt other things as well.

As years went by, I looked at them with a combination of pity and disgust — that they would do that to themselves. And it made me angry. Why would they waste this?

So it wasn’t so much centered around me and the rejection that I had felt, but centered more around them, for consistently choosing this path. Decades later, most broken people I knew back then are even more…



Mike Goldberg

3x Top Writer | Traveler | Real estate investor | Storyteller | Occasional columnist | I talk about personal growth and seizing opportunities.