They Turned Their Backs on You. Now They’re Back
How to deal with the individuals who have betrayed you in a group
I am sure you’ve been in a situation in which a friend would act one way towards you in a one-on-one setting, but in a group setting, they’d suddenly act against you. We’ve all had this happen to us.
Group dynamics can bring out the worst in people, and only those with a strong sense of self will act the same towards you whether others are around or not.
The problem is, groups never act with the individual in mind, but instead favor the person who is most popular, most attractive, or most powerful. If you aren’t the ruler of the roost, you’ll be passed over.
If they feel pressure to conform against you, they are disloyal, and your friendship must be called into question.
In group settings, the prevailing belief is “might makes right.”
Worse, if the more popular person of the group has a conflict with you, the group will align against you, regardless of whether you are right or wrong. People simply align with who they like more.
But, groups are made up of individuals, and the individual must be held accountable for their behavior, no matter the situation. In my opinion, this is a very serious action against you. It’s a betrayal, and justification to break off the friendship. If they feel pressure to conform against you, they are disloyal, and your friendship must be called into question.
In other words, Gretchen Wieners is responsible for her actions in The Plastics (for all the Mean Girls fans in the house!)
When this happens, the best course of action is to leave the group. When it’s determined that there is no way that you’ll be treated fairly by the group, you have no business sticking around. You can’t beat them, and you don’t really want to. Leave quickly, and don’t look back.
Eventually, the group will self destruct. Situations like this never last. They’re not built to — and the fallout will affect everyone who remains in the group.